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Chapters 3 and 4 describe the man's biological role in reproduction. Chapter 5 shows that it is the man's contribution (the sperm) that determines the sex of the baby. Beyond this biological role, a man has an extremely important and useful part to play during pregnancy, and afterwards when he becomes a father. Other family members, such as the baby's grandparents and "aunties", can also help and give advice.
Although pregnancy is not an illness, it makes great physical and emotional demands on the mother. Her husband or partner, as well as other members of the family, need to understand and appreciate the discomfort, anxieties, and tiredness that pregnancy may cause in a woman. Whenever possible, the man or some other family member should take over physically tiring tasks like working in the fields, lifting or carrying heavy loads, washing, and scrubbing floors (see Figure 16.1). Others can assist by taking care of the children. The man can also help by providing encouragement and emotional support, by trying not to make demands on her, and by not criticising her.
The man can learn about the pregnancy along with the mother. This will enable him to help her more effectively, and understand what she is going through. It will also help him feel more involved. If he is interested, he should be encouraged to accompany the woman when she goes to the health centre for antenatal care and health education. He can learn about what happens during pregnancy and what needs to be done to help the woman stay in good health. He can also learn about the danger signs during pregnancy and delivery, so that if a complication develops he knows when the woman needs to go to a hospital or health centre. Men should understand that good nutrition and medical care during pregnancy and childbirth are important. The man can also help in very practical ways by making sure the woman eats well, and by providing whatever money is necessary to pay for transport, fees, or medicines (Figure 16.2). As the time for delivery approaches, the man or other family members should arrange to have transport ready in case an emergency develops.
Figure 16.1: How the Man Can
Help During Pregnancy
Husbands and other family members can help by taking over physically demanding tasks like carrying heavy loads.
If this is the family's first baby, the man may have doubts about his ability to be a good father, just as a woman may have doubts about her ability to be a good mother. It will help to talk about these feelings, as well as any other concerns about how having a baby will affect the family.
During labour and childbirth, the man cannot share the physical effort. Men, however, should be encouraged to stay with their wives during the labour and delivery to provide comfort and support. This will help the man feel a closer attachment to the new baby and have a greater appreciation and sense of responsibility towards the mother.
The first six weeks after the birth of the baby can be an especially trying time for the whole family. The woman has just been through an exhausting and profound experience, physically and emotionally. Both mother and father have to adapt to a new person in their lives and meet the baby's increasing demands and needs, including breastfeeding. Sometimes these responsibilities may seem overwhelming, and parents may doubt their ability to cope. During this time, the father can play a vital role in giving the mother and baby understanding, support, affection, and help with day-to-day tasks (see Figure 16.3). Other family members often provide very valuable help during this period, giving the mother time to recover and adjust.
After the child is born, the man can contribute to having a healthy and happy family by ensuring that the mother is well fed, and that both the mother and baby receive medical care. He should be aware of danger signs that might indicate that the mother or baby is unwell and needs to go to a health facility.
Figure 16.2: Ensuring that the
Woman Receives Medical Care
One important role for husbands during and after pregnancy is to make sure that the woman receives proper medical care, and to provide money to pay for clinic fees.
Figure 16.3: How Families Can
Help After the Delivery
After the baby is born, the father and other family members can help with day-to-day tasks like caring for the older children while the mother adjusts to her new responsibilities.
On average, it takes two or more years before a woman has fully recovered from the demands of pregnancy and birth. The first two years are also critical in the growth and development of the child. Many child deaths happen because the mother becomes pregnant again too soon and has to stop breastfeeding her child when she stops producing breast milk.
One very important way a man can help the new mother is to protect her from becoming pregnant for at least two years after the birth of their last child. He can seek advice from a doctor or family planning clinic about methods of contraception, either alone or, even better, with the woman. He can go with her to a family planning clinic to help select an effective and appropriate method of contraception (see Figure 16.4). After choosing a method, he should be supportive and cooperate in using whatever method was selected (see Chapter 17).
In many societies the man is still seen as the one who provides for and protects the family. But he can and should help with raising the children in other ways as well. The parents should make decisions together about caring for the children - for example, when to take them to a health facility and when they should start school. He can also help counsel and advise them as teenagers, discussing issues like when to get married and what career or job they should train for. The man and other family members can share the task of watching the children and should help teach the children how to cope with responsibilities as they grow up. In particular, a father can and should ensure that his daughters are given the same opportunities as his sons in terms of education, health care, and other benefits.
Figure 16.4: Couple Discussing
Family Planning at Clinic
A family planning counsellor can explain the various contraceptive methods that are available. The couple can then discuss the methods and decide together which one is most appropriate for them.
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Box 16.1: Methods of Family Planning for the Man Most methods of family planning are used by the woman. There are several methods, however, where the man takes the lead. These methods are (see Chapter 1 7 for more information on family planning): · WITHDRAWAL: With this method, the man withdraws his penis from the woman's vagina just before he ejaculates or "comes". It requires a great deal of self-control from the man, and is not very reliable. · VASECTOMY: Vasectomy, or male sterilisation, is a minor operation in which the doctor makes a small cut in the man's scrotum, then cuts and ties the tubes that carry sperm. After the operation, the man can have sexual relations just as before, but he can no longer make a woman pregnant. The method is permanent. |
At all times during a couple's life together it is important that they find ways to communicate openly and honestly with each other. Men and women can play an equal role in finding ways to talk about and solve problems. Sometimes, problems exist because couples do not communicate. For example, a woman may think that her husband does not approve of family planning, but when the topic is actually discussed she may find out that he does approve. She may also be afraid of asking for money to pay for medicines or medical care, even though the man may be supportive if he understands why they are important. Health workers can help this communication by encouraging both men and women to become actively involved in pregnancy, birth, child-rearing, and family planning decisions. They can also encourage couples to discuss problems such as sexually transmitted diseases, as well as all the day-to-day events that affect the health and well-being of the family.
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Summary: The Role of Men and Other Family Members Other family members, including the baby's grandparents, "aunties", and especially the father, can help the woman in many ways before, during, and after pregnancy. Some of the ways to help include: Learning about pregnancy and what should be done to help the woman stay healthy, such as proper diet and rest. They can also learn about the danger signs of pregnancy. Helping to care for and raise the children. |
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